It's Never to Late To Learn

So it occurred to me today that it’s been about a year since this “FB drama” came to a head and finally erupted. I made a specific decision to put some distance between myself and the blog activity but the writing bug grabs me, & more often than not, I can’t say “no”. 

I’m certain that some reading this, will suggest that I "can’t seem to let this chapter of my life go". It must appear that I’m still obsessing about it, & while I’m no Dr. of Psychology, I can assure you that my day to day life consists of so many other things, but in the spirit of my original “mission, statement” this is the place where I “work shit out”. I can honestly note here that if anything burns my ass, it’s the need to constantly caution readers of this point.

Voltaire noted that: “To hold a pen, is to be at war.” Experience tells me that no truer words have ever been spoken. Yet; humbly, I would add here that those we love the most are quite often the one’s we can count on, to wage the most devastating assaults. Harsh words? Well; if words are the medium, it remains your choice, to fault me for painting with bold strokes.

A year ago, I had a 23yr. old daughter; 18, 16, and 14yr. old sons & the idea was that I had somehow “dragged” them into this FB drama. Please, try & "influence" children of that age to do anything! I offer three words: "Exercise In Futility" ...

Either this was some incredulous invention of a passionate & angry person; or I possess the manipulative powers of a tyrant and missed my dictatorial calling. Trust that when one is staring at his 45’th birthday, he can fully appreciate how the heat of the moment, anger and emotion often combine to cause major lapses in judgement. As a matter of fact, I have spent the last half of my life time atoning for many of the same. What remains is the laughable idea that we (Sara, Billie & I) can somehow position these children like chess pieces. A statement or idea; like this, demonstrates the lack of knowledge people have, regarding us as a family unit or our children as individuals; and at the end of the day this lack of knowledge is the direct result of a choice, to not have an active relationship; a choice that has not been ours.

A short time ago, one of my siblings had finally found herself in a position where she could remain silent no more. Taking advantage of the platform FB provides she shared her own thoughts on the whole matter. I was humbled that she’d even made a point of indirectly "tagging" me in her post as a means of support for my own writing. A family is an ever changing, strange and dynamic thing. Just when you feel like it’s static & stable is often when the most radical changes occur.

For Sara & I, the most important lesson was the power that comes with the freedom of choice. From Kindergarten on, this was the push; to instill the concept of decision making, freedom of choice & the relevant celebration, or consequences that follow. To that end, one can expect daily, to hear and witness Sara, myself, or any of these boys owning mistakes, admitting wrongs and experiencing the process of growth and learning. Age, wisdom & growth come with the knowledge that, to be wrong is to remain teachable. Resentment, spite & vindictiveness are more often than not, the remnants of these lessons, deliberately avoided.

 I openly admit that I’ve enjoyed my position, 2 full hours away from the day to day happenings in my own family. It is a glorious thing to sit comfortably in the helicopter, flying well above the forest canopy. The old cliché “one can’t see the forest for the trees” has never been truer. I see more today, of the dynamic, the players and their roles and positions then I’d ever imagined possible. It becomes increasingly difficult not to fall into the role of “chief critic” when you find yourself ever present in the balcony, with the best view of the stage possible.

So as the fall closes in, & the school bells call the children back to class, I will recognize the 15’th anniversary of my arrival in Elgin County, and a full year since the accusation of “brainwashing our children” fell on our doorstep. I honestly could not be happier. There are certainly challenges and opportunities ahead, the same things we all face each day. With a new school year ahead, I find myself welcoming the new lessons I’m sure to learn, and surprise tests that await.  

As we send our eldest son off to University I can only trust in the man he’s become, and that man that we send off is a force to be reckoned with, to be sure. To imagine that there is no fear as we send him back to Windsor is just plain foolish, there is more then I alone can process. I count myself among the luckiest men alive however, because I never face any of these things alone, accusations; bitter, hateful attacks; pitiful gossip; or the inevitable celebrations, love and joy that always wins out; I face it all with my best friend, our children, & the most amazing friends and family anyone could ever ask for.

Grab some life, bite in and let those juices run down your chin; it's a good thing & your only chance is right now ...

You Are So Deeply Loved; S.