- I fell into the concept "Love First"; most powerfully during the happenings surrounding our marriage, in recent months. It really is an idea I've felt deeply for many years. I find it almost laughable that it takes these painful times to forge these random ideas into a belief system that is both undeniable, & perfect in it's base.
- "Love First" started out as a way to teach the boys that there is importance in separating the actions of a person from the person themselves. While demonstrating this concept I began to see the value in simplifying it in myself. I'm not so naive that I don't realize how many times in my own lifetime; I've undoubtedly, benefit ted from this very idea. I'm certain that there have; and will continue to be, times when I will need others to embrace this concept for my well being.
-It is quite simply, the age old teaching that a person is not necessarily defined by his or her actions, but more importantly the life lessons learned from them. A belief that someone is always entitled to the benefit of the doubt. From here it becomes rather selfish; in that, by deciding to be the one who loves first; I become the individual who can rest assured in the knowledge I've done all I can to be of some benefit. It can become complex to those who choose to complicate the idea. Yet, for those of us with an honest desire to be caring toward others, it is both simple and beautiful in it's design.
- I willingly accept that life is full of hurts, I know that pain is inevitable, yet suffering is optional. With this knowledge in hand I can move forward, choosing to be the "First Person in Line to Love". Those in my life most in need will be obvious. Those opportunities will always present themselves. I can also, look at this from an entirely different; and equally positive view point. Knowing that problems will occur, and painful things are unavoidable, I can approach each opportunity with the idea that I will be the first individual to "Provide Love". I can willingly move forward knowing that the world we live in is full of those who pass judgement. There will always be those who look down on others. There will always be those; unforgiving, judgemental, spiteful, and bitter people who choose to look down upon others; while sitting in full denial of their own shortcomings. This is undeniable, but I've no desire to be party to it. I can accept hurt and painful happenings, knowing that "I choose to provide Love First". With love, healing can take place. "Loving First", allows us to physically show that we are willing to accept someones humanness. It demonstrates that we choose not to judge, but accept someone as fallible, and provide their fallibility with a soft place to land.
- "Love First" is by no means an new concept, it is quite the opposite. Simply, It is a collection of age old beliefs whittled down to a very simplified idea. It means, I'm the "First" in line to provide for an obvious need. I get to have the feeling of being the one who was there, "First". It means being alive in the moment, aware of the need, "First". It also means that when the inevitable, unavoidable, process of life is happening; and it's obvious hurts start to creep in; we are there to provide "Love First". Before any judgements, any questions, before any anger, or fear sets in; we provide Love. We demonstrate in a very tangible way that we know and accept life's painful process, yet we choose to Love, in spite of it all.
- In this environment, Fallibility is a given, it's expected, and all of life's mistakes become fallacies. They are replaced by lessons learned. All the while, the sense of being loved, and having real security permeates everything. Families are held together because they want to be together. After all, where else would you want to be? I've learned the importance of allowing someone to be human, love given unconditionally, may not always be returned, but when it is ...
- It is, most powerful, most precious, and the bonds formed are quite simply; beyond description ...
Love, S.
