- Hey All, 3'rd post, in like what? 5 days? Is this becoming a habit? I don't know but I like it!
- So I'm sure there's gonna be a few people that won't be talking to me any time soon. After yesterday's post I've pissed off friends & family, to name a few! That's cool though. Reason why? I'm not full of shit. I live in truth.
- After losing mom in Feb. I found myself with a remarkable opportunity to start brand new, the broken relationships with my sisters. After a very candid conversation with Jocelyne, we agreed that we had both been living very similar lifestyles. Where our personal lives were concerned we both enjoyed, what I call, "brutal honesty". This lifestyle has left me with a small circle of friends. Yet, those in my life, those close to me can be certain that they will always receive truth, no matter how difficult or uncomfortable it may be to hear. This is where yesterday's post came from. While it stewed in me for some time, a number of people in my life needed to know where I stand, now if they choose to read, there will be no doubt.
- As it turns out my sisters have lived much the same way. It comes down to wounded feelings which are typically put aside, along with big personalities in place of truth & the freedom to be honest. This I can embrace, no end, as this lifestyle has allowed me to live free for some time. I would ask you, would you rather I tell you that your behaviour is making you look like a drama queen, diva, or should I shut up & allow you to completely humiliate yourself? If your my friend, you'll pull me aside & tell me people are starting to stare!
- Quite simply, it is the difference between saying, "I feel like shit", or saying, "I don't feel well". You see the 1'st statement is complete bullshit, the 2'nd is accurate to a fault. We live in a society that has embraced bullshit as part of our everyday culture, allow me to explain. The statement, "I feel like shit" presumes to communicate that one feels bad, or unhealthy by comparing your current state of being to that of fecal matter, human or otherwise. "I feel like shit". As no human in history has ever existed in any other state, only to come back from that state and share their experience, this is obviously an in-accurate statement. One might as well say, "I feel like potatoes", or "I feel like carpet fibre", and you'd be truthfully communicating as much information. One would have had to exist in said state, and come back to their human form to be able to communicate the experience objectively. Only then could one honestly say, "I feel (this way)". A small stretch for the grey matter, I know; but I'm sure we can all use the exercise!
- What becomes infuriating is that society has grown to accept this as the norm, so much so that it permeates every aspect of our day to day lives. 3 friends go out for a social evening. The next day, after a night of hard drinking, one calls another to report, "Fuck, I feel like I've been hit by a truck". Now, unless said friend had indeed been previously "hit by a truck" and survived; this statement is bullshit. Then again, this friends survival from the truck may even be the reason for the celebration, I digress ...
- My point here is simply that as a group, our society has come to accept, even embrace bullshit and dishonesty as the norm. It is a vicious and destructive beast. Happily, I found my sisters had not. In my home & my family one can always find truth, I hope you can to. I will leave you with an excerpt from a piece written by, whom I believe, to be the the leading expert on this very topic ...
"The notion of carefully wrought bullshit involves, then, a certain
inner strain. Thoughtful attention to detail requires discipline and
objectivity. It entails accepting standards and limitations that
forbid the indulgence of impulse or whim. It is this selflessness
that, in connection with bullshit, strikes us as in apposite. But in
fact it is not out of the question at all. The realms of advertising
and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of
politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that
they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of
the concept. And in these realms there are exquisitely sophisticated
craftsmen who -- with the help of advanced and demanding techniques of
market research, of public opinion polling, of psychological testing,
and so forth -- dedicate themselves tirelessly to getting every word
and image they produce exactly right.
Yet there is something more to be said about this. However studiously
and conscientiously the bullshitter proceeds, it remains true that he
is also trying to get away with something" ...
Harry G. Frankfurt, "On Bullshit"
- For me, & my sisters, my closest friends, there can be no other way. "Complete Truth", "Brutal Honesty", many ways to say the same thing, give us the opportunity to improve on who, & what we are. This heart for truth is the way we can physically show, without vacant words, that we are willing to go to any lengths to be better people.
- Recently I had an opportunity to spend a great deal of time in conversation with one of the most wise, and intellectual young woman I know. We spoke at great length as parents do; mine older, hers younger, parental struggles at different ends of the same spectrum. On matters of faith came her most wise & insightful statement of all. What took me some 40yrs. of struggle and introspection to gather, she had grasped, with full understanding mid way into her 20's. I was astounded. As I babbled upon my rickety soap box, espousing varied and random tid-bits, sharing my faith journey, she told of a small golden cross she wears, and said simply, "I don't know". She then added how this is her basis for belief in all things, & of this one thing, she is unshakably certain. Humbly, I obviously paraphrase, and yet, ... how wise, to "not know" ...
- Gonna play with my cat today, pets never tell lies !
Love, S.
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