- Tuesday; January 15'th, 2008 was quite possibly the best day ever! At the very least, the best yet. It was one of those where every light was green, every sales person couldn't do enough to help, and every Timmy's got my coffee perfect! I really shouldn't act so surprised though! I seemed to be the only one who'd remembered that I had just accomplished eleven consecutive years, Clean & Sober! Believe it or not there was no bitterness; I felt like I had a secret and no one else even had to know! I feel so gifted to be sitting here, Right Now. Let me take this very moment to give all the credit to those who deserve it. Yes, I wanted to change; yes, I brought an open mind and a willing heart; yes, I got to meetings ... Yes, yes, yes, Yet, truth be told, every person who ever took the time to open a meeting, turn on the coffee, set up chairs, or chair a table deserves the credit. It is those that keep the doors open that saved my life, gave a husband back to my wife, a father back to my children. You all, made me into a worthy employee, and showed me the true value of friendship. It is to you I say "Thank-You"! There are so many more who's names I'll forget, who deserve thanks and admiration for all they've contributed. I stand here today because they all held me up, and taught me to walk when I desperately wanted to run.
To say it's been a journey would be saying far too little. I've learned to say sober, grounded in a Twelve Step Program, embraced a Saviour, worked with a Christian Men's Group, sought private Therapy, and found myself far more accountable to a male therapist. All this, and it's only been eleven years. As anyone who's read any of my stuff would already know, I pray for the day when I can make a living reaching out to all of you. When maybe my words, or deeds may be the one "Intervention" that guides someone around a corner. I will continue to hold out for the time when I can spend each day writing, reaching out and working for you. Until then; with this short period behind me, I will look toward the moments, hours, days, and weeks ahead; when I can add my heartfelt thoughts, my love, right here doing that which is available to me, to reach out to you.
I look around, I see the pictures on the walls, I can smell the familiar scents, vanilla, speed stick, fried eggs, all the things that tell me my family has recently been here. Sara's body spray, the boys getting ready for school, Sara cooking before she heads out to work. Our family; alive, living, the tedious day to day! The mess of papers on the table, shoes in the middle of the vestibule. I'm here, in the midst of it . I'm joyous as I splash about in the mud puddle of it all. You may call me mad, I see the dream of a young man come true. As an eleven year old boy, holding my first nephew in my arms, I dreamed of the day when, I to, would hold a son or daughter; the day I would have a wife, and here I am living that dream right now. My dream's come true. To make it truly complete would be the opportunity to write for you each day. Yet, I feel I am so richly blessed, and I am grateful. I thank those, who know who they are, and am humbled by the many who've done so much and continue to go unnoticed, your anonymity is completely Awe-inspiring ! Love, S.
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